Planned on staying at school to study over night but I literally felt so uncomfortable all day so I came home with my dad instead and now I’m laying in my bed in the dark eating Girl Scout cookies and this is honestly the best I’ve felt in weeks.
i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
4:27 am, still haven’t finished my anatomy pre lab but finally going to sleep… I need to be up at 6.
I’ve been so distant from Allah swt lately it’s killing me inside. I’m so jealous of my old self. All I want to to feel that connection again. Even if it’s for a second I just want to feel like I’m doing something right. I used to be so committed, what happened?
Feeling really emotional but in a good way, weird.
As much as I hate feeling helpless and hopeless hands down the best moments of my life have been when I was at my lowest. When all I can do is cry and pray. It’s like a cleanse I leave the room feeling almost naked like all my worries have been stripped away. Never has Allah SWT ever let me down. All my prayers for this dunya have been answered, every single one. All it took was for me to feel like I had nothing for a second to realize how much I really do have. Feeling absolutely empty makes me realize that emptiness in it self is a blessing because it always brings me back to the only One that can fill my heart. Being able to realize this is a blessing. Being able to cry and pray is a blessing. Being muslim is such a blessing. Alahamdoulilah for the days I feel hopeless walahi they always bring me back to where I need to be. I get so lost in this world sometimes, so obsessed with stupid things. I forget what really matters. As long as I have my deen I have everything and I’m so blessed to know that.